40 Questions to Ask Coworkers Beyond What They Do
The best questions to ask coworkers are the ones that treat them as a person who happens to have a job, not a job that happens to have a person. You already know what they do. These 40 questions help you find out who they are, at a pace that respects the fact that you will see each other tomorrow, and the day after that. Start at the coffee machine, graduate to lunch, and let the personal stuff wait until it is offered. Work friendships are slow-cooked, and that is exactly why they last.
Coffee-machine easy
Ninety seconds, zero stakes, and better than "how was your weekend" on repeat.
- What is the best thing you have eaten this week?
- Are you watching anything good right now?
- What is your commute like, and have you optimized it into a science yet?
- What is getting you through this particular Tuesday?
- Did you have a proper weekend or one of those weekends?
- What is your coffee or tea order, and how set in stone is it?
- What is the last photo you took that was not of a whiteboard?
- Any small victories lately, work or otherwise?
Lunch-worthy
Questions that deserve more than a hallway. Save these for an actual sit-down.
- What did you do before this job, and how did you land here?
- What is a hobby you have that would surprise people on this floor?
- Where did you grow up, and what does it explain about you?
- What is the best trip you have ever taken?
- If you were not in this field, what would you be doing?
- What is something you have always wanted to learn?
- What is your family like, in whatever way you feel like answering?
- What is a restaurant you would defend against all critics?
New-teammate welcome
For someone's first weeks. These say "we are glad you are here" without an interrogation lamp.
- How is the onboarding actually going, honestly?
- What has surprised you most about this place so far?
- What were you most excited about when you accepted the offer?
- Where were you before this, and what do you miss about it?
- Have you found your lunch spot yet, or do you need recommendations?
- What is one thing that would make your first month easier?
- What do you like to be asked about, so I ask you about the right things?
- What is your outside-of-work thing that we should know about you?
The work itself, interestingly
Shop talk, but the kind that makes both of you better at your jobs.
- What is the most interesting problem you are chewing on right now?
- What part of your job do people misunderstand the most?
- What is the best team you were ever on, and what made it click?
- What tool or trick do you use that more people should know about?
- Who taught you the most in your career so far?
- What is a work opinion you hold that most people here might not?
- What project would you love to work on if time were no object?
- What does a genuinely great workday look like for you?
Carefully personal
For work friends in the making. Offered, never demanded, and always answered by you first.
- What is something you are proud of from the last year, outside work?
- What do you do to actually switch off at the end of the day?
- Who is your favorite person to talk to when things get hard?
- What is something you have changed your mind about as you have gotten older?
- What is a small tradition or ritual that keeps you sane?
- What did you want to be when you were a kid?
- What is something good happening in your life right now that you have not mentioned?
- What is a question you wish coworkers asked you more often?
How to use these without being the office interviewer
One question per encounter is the rule. Ask it because you are curious, listen to the whole answer, and offer your own before you are asked. Coworker friendships are built on hundreds of small exchanges, not one deep conversation by the printer. Match the register of the setting: coffee-machine questions at the coffee machine, personal ones only after a real rapport exists. If you want a steady supply of openers, opnrs has 10,000+ questions across 65 topics in 11 languages, works fully offline, and requires no signup. The workplace topics are built for exactly this: warm, curious, and safe to ask someone you will see at standup tomorrow.
When to stop asking
If someone gives short answers twice in a row, they are telling you something. Some coworkers want work to be work, and the kindest thing you can do is respect that without cooling toward them. The goal is not to befriend everyone. It is to make sure the people who do want a work friend can find one in you.
Frequently asked questions
- What are good questions to ask coworkers to get to know them?
Start with easy, concrete questions like "What is the best thing you have eaten this week?" or "Are you watching anything good?" They take a minute, work in any hallway, and open a door without pushing anyone through it. Save personal questions until a real rapport exists.
- How do I get to know a new coworker without being awkward?
Ask about their experience arriving, not their life story: "What has surprised you most so far?" or "Have you found your lunch spot yet?" New teammates want to feel welcomed, not screened. One warm question in week one beats ten questions in day one.
- What questions should you not ask coworkers?
Skip salary, health, relationship status, politics, and anything about why someone left a previous job. If a question could make Monday awkward, it does not belong in the office. A good test: would you be comfortable if they asked it back in front of your manager?
- How do you make friends with coworkers as an adult?
Repetition plus small questions. Research on friendship consistently points to repeated low-stakes contact, which offices provide for free. Ask one genuine question a day, remember the answers, and follow up later. A deck like opnrs, with 10,000+ questions across 65 topics, keeps the openers fresh when your own run dry.
- What are good conversation starters for lunch with coworkers?
Story-shaped questions: "What did you do before this job?" or "What is the best trip you have ever taken?" Lunch gives you twenty minutes, so ask something that deserves twenty minutes. Answer it yourself too, so it feels like a conversation instead of an interview.
- How can remote coworkers get to know each other?
The same questions work over video or chat, they just need scheduling instead of hallway luck. Drop one question in the team channel each morning, or open one-on-ones with five minutes of not-work. opnrs works fully offline and requires no signup, so anyone on the team can pull a question card before a call without creating an account.